Life is so funny, isn't it?  This past week I have dealt with a lot of emotion and haven't really been able to talk to anyone about it.  So I find myself here, with you. 


All my life, I have had such a big heart.  I have cared a big amount for people that I meet, or have contact with... People I make friends with... I've been that way my whole life.  And a lot of my life I have gone misunderstood, alone in the sense that no one else understands why or how I care so much for certain people.  For the most part I have gotten used to it, but I am still amazed when people take it for granted.  I'm a 100% person.  I give all I have.  It doesn't matter what it is, whether it be friendships, jobs, I give 100% of myself.  If I commit to something, I will put my whole heart into whatever it is I have committed myself to.  I'm in things for the long run.  I'm just not a short term person.  I look at the big picture.  Sometimes it might take me a while to make a decision, but once I make that decision, I'm committed to said decision.  I'm all in, and I stand by my decisions.  I've always been a genuine person.  I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.  I don't understand why people feel they need to say things they don't mean.  I am literally amazed at the fact that some people can say things that they don't mean all the time.  Which is probably why I'm so taken back when people say things and then act differently.  I'm not perfect, none of us are, and here and there words may slip out of my mouth that I didn't intend or even really think. I am usually quick to take those words back the best I can, but some people just have a habit about saying things they don't mean... of lying.... they actually think about what to say, even when they don't mean it.  I try to believe the best about people, and take them at their word until they show me otherwise... I hate when they prove me wrong.  I really just wish people would be straight with their words.  Don't mess with a person, especially one who is genuine in their actions toward you.  It's just messed up... The fact that crap like this is still going on in my life is disappointing.  I'm really just disappointed that I'm getting fooled by people.  Sometimes I think I care too much.  But then I realize that caring that much is what I like about myself.  It gets me in trouble sometimes, gets my feelings hurt, but I couldn't imagine caring less... I have a huge heart, and I think its one of my most endearing qualities.  I wouldn't change it...